


My Heart

by Larkawolfgirl



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Boys Kissing, Canon Era, Grief/Mourning, Heart-to-Heart, Kissing, Love, M/M, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3316127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Axel had stopped Roxas from leaving him at the end of Days?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote all except for the very end of this over a year ago. I never got around to finishing it because I had wanted to make this into something longer. But alas, I am worthless when it comes to plot, so here it is short and sweet.

“No one would miss me”

“That’s not true, I would.” Axel hoped beyond hope that this would stop Roxas, but he didn’t even falter in his stride. Could he not have heard him? That was it, right? It wasn't that Roxas didn’t care about him. Axel stared sadly at the retreating form, and mind made up, rushed towards it, grabbing onto Roxas’ wrist.

“What are you doing?”

“You can’t go!”

“I don’t care about the organization. I can take care of myself.”

“I don’t care about the organization either. I care about you.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Axel? You lied to me about my own self and about Xion too. Xion is gone! Gone! I have to make Xemnas pay for what he did.”

Axel stared into his eyes. He could see the sorrow that was held within them.

“You loved her, didn’t you?”

Roxas was taken aback. “Uh…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turned his head away so that his fresh tears would not be seen. “We don’t have hearts, remember? How could I have been in love?”

“I’ve been thinking. Maybe Xemnas lied about more than just the two of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we do have hearts.”

“But you’re the one that told me we couldn’t feel emotions.”

“I know that. I’ve changed. I can feel them. At least, I think I can.”

“See, you’re not even sure about it. Why the hell does it matter to you if I did love her? Is that so wrong? Does it go against _orders_?” Roxas all but spat out his words.

“I told you I don’t care about the organization anymore. They can all go to hell for all I care. But you I do care about, Roxas.”

“Then help me. Help me make them pay for Xion.”

“I will always be second to her, won’t I?”

“What are you talking about, Axel? You have been acting weird this whole conversation.”

“Damn it! I’m sick of this pretense. Roxas, I love you!”

“You what?”

“I said I love you.” He said the words with such conviction that Roxas’ mind was wiped blank. “I don’t know if I feel anything else, but the fact that I love you is clearer than anything I have ever known. I remember having emotions, but I have never felt anything like this, not even when I was a somebody. I just want to be near you, Roxas. I don’t want you to go away. Please stay with me.”

“I told you, Axel, I have to make Xemnas pay. But, uh, I guess you can come with me.” Axel signed both in relief and aggravation. He was relieved that he could stay with Roxas, but he was sad that it was out of Roxas’ good-nature and not out of his choice. He wanted Roxas to want him as he wanted him. He wanted so much, but being a nobody denied him of it all. Roxas didn’t know emotions. He may have felt for Xion, but that was all. The two walked in silence for a while until Axel broke it.

“Roxas-“

“Hmm?”

“What do you feel about me?”

“I don’t have emotions. Drop it.”

“Please stop lying to yourself, Roxas! You can feel if you want to. If you’re leaving the organization, then you can leave their rules behind as well. Open yourself, Roxas!” Axel gripped his shoulders tightly.

“Let go, Axel.” He averted his eyes not daring to meet the other boy’s gaze.

“No, you let go. Let your emotions out. Cry if you need to; shout if you need to; lean on _me_ if you need to. Mourn her death, and tell me honestly if there is even a remote chance you feel the same about me.” Roxas couldn’t hold it in any longer, not with that penetrating stare. Tears fell down his face, and jolts racked through him.

Axel’s grip loosened as he hugged him to him and let his own tears fall. He cried for Xion, for his past, for his lost somebody, for the cage Saïx had held him in, for his new-found feelings. When Roxas finally relaxed into him, neither had any tears left to be shed.

“Axel, I…I…I just don’t know. She was so helpless, you know? She was so vulnerable to the things Xemnas and Saïx would say. I wanted to protect her, but I failed. I failed so miserably. I might as well have killed her!” Roxas screamed the last part in agony, pleading with his eyes for the other to defend him, to tell him he had done everything he could have.

“I know, Rox. I tried too. She was my friend as well. Things will never be the same without her. I couldn’t lose you, too.”

“I’m not sure what love is, Axel. I don’t know if I loved her. I know that I miss her, that I want nothing more than to hear her voice, see her smiling face, one more time. I know that I care about you, that I love spending time with you. I honestly just don’t know, Axel.”

“Love is something that fills your ‘heart’ to bursting. Something that can fill your day with endless rays of sunlight, but just as easily plunge you into Darkness. Love is when you care about someone so deeply that you would rather they be happy than yourself. You would rather die in their place. You want to fuse your own self with this person because you never want to be apart.”

“I still don’t know. I want to believe I loved her. But about you, I would have seriously left you to grant her justice.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to love us the same. I don’t care if you always love her more, just please say you love me, too.”

“How would I know for sure?”

“Well, there is one thing we could try.” With that Axel brought the boy’s face up, started into his eyes, and then lowered his lips to meet the other boy’s. It was like electric fire. Roxas felt emotions stir within him. Real emotions. He had let sadness out moments ago, but something had still been holding him back. Now real, vibrant emotion rose. He didn’t know what it was, but it made him feel tingly. Could this be love, or something else?

“Axel, I feel weird. I feel all tingly. Does this mean I love you?”

Axel laughed lightly at his innocent naivety. “It’s a start. Promise you’ll let me continue on with you, and maybe, just maybe one day you will know whether or not you do.”

Roxas leaned into him as they resumed walking. “I’m sorry that I don’t know.”

“Don’t sweat it. It’s enough for me to be with you.” And it was. This feeling beneath his breast calmed his nerves and assured him that Xemnas was wrong. He had a heart, at least when it came to Roxas, and that was enough.


End file.
